Today we find Heather talking to herself again, playing the almost redundant one on the left; the all-round good egg she pulls out of the bag every now and then.
Historically, she’s never been able to keep this up for long because she has nothing to work with. Heather is restricted to using a single tried and tested formula, the only one she knows. And so on this occasion she nipped into enemy territory (she’s always there anyway), stole a good-deed idea from way back, returned to camp, claiming it as her own.
For good measure, just in case the odd Twisted Lemon has the whisper of a conscience and enough brain cells to work it out, she attempts praising her targets one minute then slapping them down the next, accusing them of plagiarism and being stroppy.
Temporarily overcome by all that saintliness (and because she has an audience), Heather hard boils her egg with a suggestion that all Twisted Lemons unite and do good things. She rounds it off with a Bitter compliment to herself and an almost tearful little postscript; something about having a heart.
And that’s how it’s done.